Zell Mania
by Schism
Summary: This fan fiction is mainly Zell bashing, but there are some other bashings in there two. This is my first posted fan fic, so please R&R. Rated PG13 for some language and suggested scenes.


Disclaimer: I do not own FFVIII, a Squaresoft game, or any of its characters, BUT I do own this plot, so please do not copy.  
  
Warning: This Fan Fiction contains severe Zell bashing(And many others), so if you are a fan of him (Odds are you aren't) I advise you to not read it.  
  
Zell Mania  
  
Zell, Seifer, Quistis, Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, And Selphie, Are all standing on a beach somehwere  
  
Selphie: Irvy...! Where are we? *Clings to Irvine.*  
  
Irvine: *Enjoying the attention* I have no idea. What about you Loner Boy, have a clue?  
  
Squall: *Mumbles something about cutting off Irvines nuts for keeping on calling him Loner Boy*  
  
Irvine: Err... I'll take that as a no.  
  
Zell: Hey guys this place looks strange..  
  
Seifer: Quiet Chicken-wuss, no one cares what you think.  
  
Zell: *Mumbles*  
  
Everyone else: YEAH SHUT THE HELL UP CHICKEN-WUSS!  
  
Zell: SHUT THE HELL UP I AM NOT A CHICKEN-WUSS! *Turns psychotic and runs off into the nearby woods.*  
  
Quistis: Woohoo... Loudmouth is gone.  
  
Rinoa: Thank Hyne.  
  
Selphie: Umm guys maybe we should worry about where he is going...  
  
Everyone: ...................Nah.  
  
A Few minutes latter Zell walks back, and Selphie and Irvine have mysteryously vanished  
  
Seifer: Hey look! Chicken-wuss is back.  
  
Squall: Damn- err.. I mean.. Oh goodie.  
  
Rinoa: *Giggles.*  
  
Zell: HEY!!  
  
Another Zell Walks in  
  
Everyone but Selphie and Irvine who are still gone: THE HELL!?!?  
  
Zell and Zell2: WOAH!!  
  
Zell: Hey Zell. Wazzup!?  
  
Zell2: Hey other Zell. Wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzup...!!  
  
Zell: WAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUPPPPPP!!!  
  
Zell2: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPP!!!  
  
Seifer: *Nods To Squall*  
  
Squall: *Nods Back To Seifer*  
  
Seifer and Squall: *Unsheaths GunBlades* SHUT UP CHICKEN-WUSSES  
  
Zell and Zell2: HEY WE ARE NOT CHICKEN-WUSSES!  
  
Seifer and Squall: *Chase the Zells into the Nearby woods vanishing into the dark*  
  
Irvine and Selphie walk back from somewhere  
  
Irvine: Hey guys whats going on we heard a bunch of yelling.  
  
Rinoa: *Suddenly falls on the ground laughing histericly.*  
  
Selphie: *Looks at Rinoa* Whats wrong with her...  
  
Quistis: *Snicker* Irvine... *Snickers* Look at your hat.. *Bursts out laughing*  
  
Irvine: *Takes off his hat and looks at it* ......!?  
  
Selphie: *See's whats on the hat* OMH!  
  
Irvine: Quick take it back!!  
  
Selphie: *Quickly snatches her white cotton panties off from Irvines hat and holds them behind her. Runs off into the woods and puts them on. Runs back* Oopsies!  
  
Irvine: Ummm now what was that screaming about...*Trying to change the subject*  
  
Rinoa: *Recovers herself and gets back up* A fate worse then death...  
  
Quistis: *Nods*  
  
Squall and Seifer walk back from the woods covering some red liquidy stuff.  
  
Rinoa and Quistis: OMH WHAT DID YOU DO!  
  
Seifer: What had to be done..  
  
Squall: Yep..  
  
Rinoa: *Clings on Squall* My brave brave man that takes care of things!  
  
Squall: .......Whatever.  
  
Irvine: Loner Boy back to his old tricks again..  
  
Squall: *A Vein pops out of his forehead* STOP CALLING ME A LONER BOY!!  
  
Seifer, Quistis, Irvine and Selphie: IT SPEAKS MORE THEN WHATEVER!  
  
Squall: *Suddenly falls down dead from an anurism.*  
  
Everyone: ...................  
  
Irvine: Oops.  
  
Rinoa: THANK HEIN! Mr. Sad ass is finally dead. *Clings to Seifer now* You're meh new boy.  
  
Quistis: ........  
  
Seifer: Sweet...  
  
A Third Zell walks in dragging the two dead Zells  
  
Everyone but Zell: ...............................!?  
  
Zell3: *Points and laughs at the two dead zells.* HA! HA!  
  
Zell3: *Drags the other Zells back into the woods, vanishes, and is never seen again for quite some time*  
  
Quistis: ....... Ok we all agree that we never saw or hear any of this. Agreed?  
  
Everyone: Agreed.  
  
Seifer: Umm what do we do now?  
  
Rinoa: .... *Drags Seifer off to the woods away from everyone else. After awhile you can hear something that sounds like moaning, and for the remainder of this Fan Fiction aren't seen anymore.*  
  
Only people left there are Quistis Irvine and Selphie.  
  
Quistis: ......... I Feel so alone..  
  
Selphie: *Hugs Irvine* That your problem.  
  
Irvine: *Nods* Go tell it to a shrink.  
  
Irvine and Selphie: *Walk away into the distance*  
  
Quistis all alone in the middle of no where.  
  
Quistis: I feel so alone...  
  
Zell3: *Comes out* Quistis join me over in the woods!  
  
Quistis: ........... *Takes out her whip and hanges herself with it rather then be with Zell*  
  
Zell3: Damn.. Oh-well. * Walks back into the woods disappearing for good this time.*  
  
END, THANK GOD!! 


End file.
